First Time
by Solitaire and Xpyne
Summary: The 'first time' isn't always magical. In fact, you may be lucky if there's a second. 93


Disclaimer: Saiyuki and all its characters belong to Kazuya Minekura. Rest assured, even if there _was_ any possible way I could make money from doing this, it would all get funneled straight back to her, anyway, what with all the Saiyuki merchandise I buy, lol.

This is based on part of a series of sentence-drabble things sadieko posted a while ago on Livejournal. I adored the one about Goku's first time, and mentioned that I'd like to try my hand at doing an expansion, if she wouldn't. It took me a few weeks, what with all that's been thrown at me lately in my classes, and it took some intensive (newly-acquired) Gackt on repeat, but I finally got this thing done. :d

I don't usually write in present-tense, but I thought it was appropriate in keeping with the style of the original drabble, and I enjoy experimenting with my narration. I had a lot of fun writing this. Probably _too_ much. LOL Thanks to sadieko, for the unintentional prompt (and the permission to post this)! There was _one_ line I loved so much, I had to steal it in its entirety. Thanks also to Xpyne for beta.

Note: This fic goes off the presupposition that Goku and Sanzo are already in a relationship, but that it hasn't been sexual up to this point. They have talked about it, though, because Sanzo's not about to let Goku take a crack at him until they've laid down some ground rules.

Hope you enjoy this!

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The first time is the most amazing, most wonderful, most wretched experience of Goku's life. He does absolutely everything wrong. He bites too hard and Sanzo hits him; he kisses too hard and their teeth clash together uncomfortably; he enters a little too quickly and -- it's tight, hot, perfect, he's going to explode into pieces and it'll be the best thing ever -- and he thinks Sanzo might kill him. He finishes only a few thrusts later and he knows Sanzo is going to kill him._

- sadieko

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&:&:&**  
First Time**  
by Solitaire

When Goku steps from the bathroom, stripped down to his boxers with his heart pounding in his ears, he wonders if it's physically possible to die from nervousness.

Sanzo is naked, sitting on the bed against the headboard, and when he notices the brunet he puts his cigarette out in the empty beer can that rests on the nightstand. "Well?" he asks gruffly, and Goku hurries over, though his legs feel as if they're made of lead, or maybe jelly, because he's been dreading this moment at least as much as he's been looking forward to it. What if he messes up and Sanzo won't let him ever come near him again? What if he hurts Sanzo, or Sanzo hates it, or hates _him_, or--

Then Sanzo grabs him by the arm to pull him onto the bed with a mildly irritated noise in the back of his throat and Goku follows, willing and terrified and so eager, he almost wishes it was already over so Sanzo can't change his mind before it even happens. That thought terrifies him even more, so he abruptly leans in to kiss Sanzo, and it's more of a knocking of noses and chins until Sanzo grabs his jaw roughly in one hand to hold him still.

"Idiot," Sanzo mutters as he leans in slowly and his eyes are half-lidded, but his expression is slightly exasperated, too, so Goku remains as stiff as a stature. The blond nibbles at the corner of his mouth, swipes his tongue along Goku's bottom lip, gently slips that tongue past Goku's teeth, and the brunet is so nervy that the jolt like electricity which shoots along his spine makes him bite down before he can stop himself.

Jerking back, Sanzo raises a hand to his mouth to check for blood, "What the hell?" he demands with a scowl, and Goku cringes.

"I'm sorry!" he stammers, "I didn't mean to!"

"I would hope not," Sanzo retorts, giving him a dubious look that makes Goku want to sink through the floor.

I'm _bad_ at this, he thinks, and he really, really doesn't want to be, because if just kissing Sanzo makes him feel like _this_, he can't even imagine what it will be like to be inside Sanzo, as close as two people can get, Sanzo all around him and under him and... His dick is straining against the front of his boxers, pre-come seeping through the fabric and he clenches his jaw, desperately determined to do this right, because Sanzo doesn't give many second chances.

"Hey," Sanzo says suddenly, his voice still gruff and annoyed but softer this time, and he reaches out to slide his hand over Goku's shoulder and pull him closer. "This time...you stick your tongue in my mouth," he suggests after a moment of deliberation, looking slightly awkward about the whole thing, and Goku knows that's his fault, too. The younger male flushes but nods. He can _do_ this.

He moves in cautiously, like Sanzo did earlier, to kiss him with trembling lips. Sanzo sighs, his eyes slipping shut as his hand splays over Goku's shoulder blade, and Goku takes this as a good sign. He presses his tongue into Sanzo's mouth and Sanzo meets him there, the wet muscles sliding together slickly; it feels so good that Goku pushes against him deeper, harder, his fingers seeking to discover what spots on the priest's body make him tense up, what spots make him groan, and he doesn't realize his enthusiasm is getting the better of him until the back of Sanzo's skull connects with the wall.

Growling, Sanzo shoves him off and then continues to shove until he's flat on his back. "Just...sit. Still," he orders, and his tone is bordering on murderous now.

"Sorry," Goku mumbles again, mildly horrified by how badly things are going, but does as he's told. He'll do anything Sanzo says at this point, as long as it means he won't get up and leave him here, hot and too-tight with his blood burning through his veins and the smell and feel of Sanzo pulling at his senses so that he can hardly tell which way is up.

Sanzo leans over him, a forearm braced against the mattress at either side of Goku's head, and lowers his face to kiss him again. Goku kisses back too hard--and he _knows_ it's too hard because their teeth click together a little painfully--but Sanzo seems to realize he can't help it and accepts it with surprisingly good grace. Or maybe he's just decided to write Goku off when it comes to kissing, because he seems more interested in tugging Goku's boxers down his thighs and tossing them to the floor, now. Goku lifts his hips to help him, and the movement brings his throbbing erection into contact with Sanzo's hip, which makes him shake and tighten his fingers around the blond's ribs.

"Sanzo," he gasps, his back arching up off the mattress, and when the older male curls a hand around him, Goku bites down on his shoulder, hard.

Sanzo doesn't even curse this time, but he does bring the flat of his palm down on the side of Goku's head with stinging force.

"Ow!"

"You think?" Sanzo snaps back tersely.

And Goku is _determined_ to prove to Sanzo he can do things with his mouth besides eat and bite, but he is also willing to concede that tonight he should probably quit while he's ahead. So with a grim expression he flips them over until Sanzo is beneath him on the bed.

Sanzo watches him scrabble for the little tube of lubricant and the condom on the nightstand with what Goku fears is reluctance, but his cock is still hard, for which Goku is ridiculously grateful. He tugs a little at Sanzo's dick to make sure it stays that way, fingers the slit and presses the pad of his thumb against the prominent vein along the underside, earning a groan.

"Get on with it," the priest hisses through gritted teeth, and it's several moments before Goku can tear his gaze from the sight: Sanzo's golden hair splayed over the sheets, Sanzo's skin flushed and his eyes dark, and if it was up to him he wouldn't mind staring at Sanzo's naked body for hours.

He yelps when the blond twists his nipple--_hard_--to get his attention, and as his hand moves to cover the abused area in reflex, Sanzo snatches the condom from him and tears it open with his teeth.

"I haven't got all night for this!" Sanzo grumbles and then his hands are on Goku's erection, rolling the condom into place. Goku gasps and shudders and he might have finished right then if not for the almost painful tightening of Sanzo's fist.

"Don't you fucking dare."

The threat nearly has Goku laughing, a little hysterically, because it's not like he can really help it at this point but he nods and knows better than to complain when Sanzo narrows his eyes and doesn't release his grip. Goku fumbles with the lube for what feels like an eternity before the cap pops off and then it's everywhere and he cringes. He doesn't even have to look at Sanzo to know the man is grinding his teeth because Goku swears he can hear it.

He presses one slick finger into Sanzo, just like he was shown, and Sanzo twitches at the sensation but doesn't tell him to stop. Sanzo is breathing heavily and his thighs are trembling slightly as Goku gently pushes them wider, so he adds a second finger and waits. With a choked grunt, Sanzo's fingernails bite into the flesh of Goku's bicep.

"Sanzo?" he murmurs, wondering if he should be concerned, but the man beneath him only shifts his hips.

"Shit," Sanzo swears softly, and Goku is about to pull his fingers out entirely when the priest shudders. "Enough," he hisses, "just do it!"

"But Sanzo--" Goku protests, because when they talked about this earlier Sanzo had threatened him with dire consequences, were he to not follow his instructions to the letter, "you said three fingers is--"

"That was over an hour ago!" Sanzo seethes, and he locks his ankles at the small of Goku's back as he reaches down to spread what is left of the lubricant over the brunet's cock. "Just don't--"

Goku positions himself--_go slow, go slow, go slow_ he repeats over and over in his head--but his hips seem to snap forward of their own accord. The abrupt action surprises a shout out of Sanzo, and he tenses up with a hand clamped down tightly on either of Goku's shoulders.

"You little bastard--!" he grunts, and Goku is sure it's his gun Sanzo is feeling for when he reaches above his head with a grimace, but the man only curls his hand around the top of the headboard.

_Sorry_, Goku tries to say, but his heart is pounding against his ribs so hard he thinks it might burst--inside Sanzo it's tight, hot, perfect, he's going to explode into pieces and it'll be the best thing ever--and he can't get the words out. Sanzo's pretty tough, though, and Goku figures he's okay when he releases the bone-crushing grip on his shoulder and lifts his head to glare at him.

It was also made clear when they discussed this that he was not allowed to start moving until Sanzo said it was okay, but the very real threat the monk poses aside, Goku thinks he might die if he _doesn't_ move, and while he doesn't dare pull out, he thinks it might be alright if he just pressed a little bit _deeper_...

The way the blond gasps and arches his back is encouraging, so Goku does it again, biting down on his own lip with the effort it takes to keep from doing anything more. Sanzo's free hand comes to rest on the back of Goku's neck, and as awkward as the position is, it's the most natural thing in the world for him to lean in and kiss the other man.

Goku tries to be careful and gentle this time, he really does, but Sanzo is the one who sucks harshly at his lower lip, who proprietarily shoves his tongue into his mouth, and from there Sanzo seems mildly pissed but not at all surprised when he ends up with a bloody lip.

"Sor--"

"_I don't want to hear it._" He pushes Goku away none-too-gently with a hand planted in the center of the brunet's face and sighs with something like resignation. "Just...fuck me already," he demands, starting to look uncomfortable, and it's what Goku has been waiting for all night.

He pulls out about halfway, only to drive back in a second later and--_ohhhgodohgod_--his head swims for a moment but his body takes the bit in its teeth and gets to it. Sanzo is saying something, threatening him again, probably, yet Goku can't hear a thing over the rush of blood in his ears, the static in his head as he feels himself reaching, reaching--

It only takes a few thrusts until his body suddenly goes so taut he thinks he'll break, and then he does, and when he finally comes back together it feels as if he's shuddered every last bit of himself into Sanzo.

Sanzo, he remembers with startling clarity.

Sanzo, who is glaring at him fiercely enough that he's glad looks can't really kill, or else he'd be dead three times over.

"I--"

"**Don't**," Sanzo snarls, and his grip on Goku's ear is painful enough to render the boy immobile. For a moment Goku fears he's going to kick him right off the bed and that will be the end of that, Sanzo's concession to a sexual relationship over before it ever really started, but Sanzo isn't letting him move, even to pull out. Instead, the blond grabs Goku's hand and places it over his own cock, still hard and throbbing, and gives him a scowl that manages to be pissed, worked up, frustrated, and really too sexy, all at once.

"You're going to finish what you goddamn well started," Sanzo bites out through clenched teeth, and Goku only nods dumbly, though the continued stimulation to his over-sensitive flesh down there makes him wince.

The feel of Sanzo's dick in his hand is familiar, at least, and he's able to help the priest finish without too much trouble. Only, he wasn't expecting how it might feel to have Sanzo come while he is still inside, and by the time Sanzo is shoving him off of him, Goku almost puts up a fight because he's hard again.

"You're utter crap at it," Sanzo snaps, truly irritated, and Goku has to agree, but all that pale skin is still flushed, he's still breathing hard, and Sanzo looks more relaxed than Goku has ever seen him since they started West.

The priest rakes sweaty blond tendrils of hair from his face with an expression that seems to ask what _else_ could he have possibly expected, agreeing to take such a stupid monkey to bed? And Goku lowers his head to stare dismally at the bed sheets as Sanzo reaches for his Marlboros and lighter, because he can't watch those lips, those fingers, without wanting to taste and touch and be touched, and after everything he did wrong tonight, Sanzo probably won't--

"One more time," Sanzo says, releasing a long column of smoke towards the ceiling, and from the tone of his voice it's clear he thinks he's being magnanimous. He shifts to fold his arms behind his head and glances down at Goku with one eye, and if Goku didn't know better, he'd almost think it looks like a wink. Sanzo's expression, however, is utterly uncompromising.

"And then you're going to _keep_ trying until you get it right."

&:&:&

(Ah, Sanzo, don't pretend you didn't love every minute of it. ...Well, except for the parts where you got bitten.)


End file.
